unforgivableregretfulsecrets
by breezy.black
Summary: when jacob cant control himself. over sudden decisions. does bella recover or die, as something else. ice or fire. does she live to be connected to the boy that waited in the wing?or to her forbidden love?it is all up to him. what will he do?


chapter 1: transformation.

"Isablella swan" he chuckled almost teasingly but in a furios tone,  
but then you saw the anger the fire enter his eyes, "what in the world  
is wrong with you? why did you think that you could come and see  
jacob!huh?why in the world would he even be here after what you have  
done to him. what YOU have brought upon him.!"now he was screaming at  
me. thank goodness alice cant see werewolves i thought to myself or  
edward would be down here chewing billy out. "BELLA did you even hear  
what i just said?!" billy screamed in my face."yes billy i heard you!"  
i said back calmly practically exasperated. "but i do not understand  
what you are trying to say? all i want to do is see jacob before i  
make the biggest choice of my life!" i told him. "i thought you had  
already MADE youre biggest choice whether or not you had or hadnt  
asked Jacob? because he obviously thought that you had already made up  
youre damn mind.!" billy is still screaming is he ever going to stop?  
i asked myself in my head not quite understanding billly's meaning on  
where in the world jacob is. i mean that is all i want to know! i dont  
want to listen to any of his other subjects that he concludes to  
whining on. Holy crow is it seriously THAT hard. "billy" i said his  
name slowly and annunciated all the syllables on the rest of my words  
"where..is...jacob?"  
"HES GONE GOD DAMNIT AND ITS ALL YOURE FAULT!" he was ferocious now as  
it was finally sinking in. "So youre saying he left?well when did he  
say he would be back? where did he go billy? i could use some answers  
right about now!" i was going into panic mode. no i thought jacob  
couldnt leave because of me. and then i was knocked out. i didn't know  
what hit me. but it was soft but powerful, and warm. my mind was  
swimming laps and laps. never stopping, trying to resurface. i knew i  
wasnt drowning. because i could still float on my back.haha i thought  
to myself floating on my back thats silly. concentrate bella i told  
myself then waking up. it felt like i had been out for hours but it  
turns out that it had only been seconds. it is silly what time can  
seem to do you. when i awoke. i found to see that i was slumped againt  
the white wall in billy front room the wall which i must have hit my  
head on somehow which had caused me to blank out.i then turnes my  
head, my eyes searching for billy then i saw him out of the side of my  
peripheal vision. to find billy in his wheelchair. in corner,  
shaking...uncontrolably. the sad thing was i knew what was going on i  
was just so suprised i didnt move a muscle frozen in place. besides  
the fact that i didnt think that it was at all possible for someone so  
old to transform. even after all of the rules that had been stated by  
jacob. this, now this was something different something new something  
that i doubted had EVER happened. and to say so myself i was quite  
afraid. and unsure what to do. then my mind reacted finally finding  
the emotion of self preservation that i had pushed to the back of my  
brain for a very long time. I half way stood up, but then froze. My  
knees bent, The ground was shaking like an earthquake. It was  
impossible to walk or even move but still I tried to process the  
thought through my mind that I wanted to live and ran well mostly  
tumbled and fell and rolled, well all the words pertaining some  
similarity to those of. To the door. I opened it and practically face  
planted into the swirl of concrete steps. I ran. Like I never had  
before, down the dirt road. all the way to first beach. The rocks  
only made it worse. Like a big grey wave, Then to look out at the  
ocean, ugh. It only made me dizzy. Then I slowed out of breath not  
feeling any rumbling besides my stomach that was at partial feature of  
exploding. I was so friggin hungry then the running. And when I say  
explode I mean upchuck. You would think that out of all the strange  
things ive seen you would imply that my stomach would be able to hold  
something down..but, it just doesn't manage.thats when I noticed the  
log. The old white washed up log, me and Jacobs stump. The whole  
thought made my tear ducts start up again. I needed him now badly. I  
walked over to the stump feeling a new hole in my chest a new wound.  
Nothing near as bad as Edward. Nothing near as bad as dying. But still  
injured. To the point. Of tears and crying. His pain stricken face of  
that day I left him to save Edward. Kept striking clearly like a match  
in my mind. My self imploded sunshine. That hated me. I sat down on  
it. And felt something poke me in the but. "what the hell?" I said  
aloud. I got up to look at what I must have been sitting on. It was a  
thick piece of white lined notebook paper that had been folded many  
times. On the front in scraggly writing it said, "bells" and on the  
back in the same writing it said "from Jacob. There was a spot where  
the ink from the pen ad smeared from a drop of water, most likely the  
rain. Other then that a little scruffed up. I wondered how long it had  
been waiting for me. That's when I heard a low rumble shiver across  
the ground that made the grey wave like rocks in front of me do a  
little dance.


End file.
